The fun continues as we learn some of the most common American slang words and phrases. Listen to a brief podcast showcasing slang used in every day English.
Today’s lesson in American slang is brought to you by Rustam Niyazov, ISV Correspondent.
Listen and follow along as we read through today’s American slang examples. Also hear a guy share his super sad love story.
The ABC’s of American Slang from H to N
H – History. Meaning: something in the past.
I – In the bag. Meaning: nothing to worry about.
J – Jerk someone around. Meaning: wasting my time and causing me trouble.
K – Keep ones cool. Meaning: remained calm.
L – Lame. Meaning: an inadequate.
M – Meltdown. Meaning: total collapse.
N: Nab. Meaning: arrested.
American Slang Used in Everyday English: Super Sad True Love Story
Listen, buddy, I always wanted to tell you about my super sad true love story. I know you’re a little bit sensitive, and this is truly super sad story, so if you promise to keep your cool, I’ll tell you about it. You promise? Ok. I never had anything to hide from you, buddy. So here you go.
All my life, all those innocent childhood years, I grew up with a philosophy that love is all we need. Love is all a man needs. My mommy would tell me that sometimes we need to be alone – forever – we need to stay single if we’re not sure about the personality of the person we’re to marry. And the only place that could tell you who is who was a store. You never know the person until you shop together, my mommy would tell me.
That was one of our weird national traditions that I had to follow if I was serious about marriage. It’s like an exam, a test that you need to pass to become a family man and shopping experience should help you identify the ideals the person holds dear.
I met her at one of our college parties. She was a smart looking girl, nothing was suspicious about her, nothing! I loved her, she loved me, and we loved each other. At least, that’s what I thought was happening between us. I thought we were destined to be together, make kids, and live happily ever after. So I asked her that we go shopping together. She said “Ok.” I got nervous about it because that was supposed to be like a Judgment Day.
And it really turned out to be a surprising day.
There was one thing, one problem with her that I didn’t know, had no idea it existed. And our shopping experience revealed it to me. She was a shoplifter. Can you imagine my future wife to be a professional shoplifter? No decent man could ever imagine that. But every time we went to a store, she would put something in the bag without paying for it. And every time it happened to be in my bag. And every time the police would nab me as we were leaving the store.
After three such embarrassing incidents there has been a meltdown in our relationship. I realized that she was jerking me around. I don’t know why it got clear to me after three incidents… Maybe I wanted to make sure this thing about her or maybe because I like odd numbers?! So after three times finally I got it: she was jerking me around as if I was somebody who likes to be fooled. You say, I was being a fool? No, man. I was in love and love was fooling me.
I don’t have any idea where my old girlfriend is. It’s history. It’s something I’m trying to forget. I know she might have her story about this, but who cares. Now everything is in the bag, buddy. I have a new girlfriend because I kept my cool when my heart, my love betrayed me. I kept my cool, man, and I was rewarded for it.
Her excuse? She said she wanted to save my money. She said she was concerned about my financial well-being. I know this is really a lame excuse. But she had no other. I don’t know if she was being sincere about it. I hope she wasn’t. That’s sad?
No, I’ll tell you what is sad. I think I still love her, even though I have a new girlfriend. I still love my shoplifter. That’s what’s sad! I know I contradict myself, but love is all a man needs, and I’m desperately in need of love, man. I wanted, I tried to love my new girlfriend but I couldn’t. I just want my old girlfriend back, every time I go to a store…I want her back!
Did you say, I’m a jerk? I’m telling you the truth man, and you being mean to me?! You promised to keep your cool, man….Yes, you did! Ok, ok, then don’t waste my time, cause you, too, a history to me now. Good bye, buddy. No. Farewell!
Now I got to tell somebody about my super sad true friendship story…My mommy warned me about this…What a fool!
Rustam Niyazov ISV Correspondent